In My Dreams
Yesterday was not my best day. Even as I drove to my favorite breakfast diner - a decade long ritual, I could not shake off the urge to sleep. I yawned through breakfast, causing my table-mates to joke about my wild relationship with my Guido. What they don't know is that we have been together for nearly three years and no long feel the urge to romp all over the place. We still romp, but in a more controlled, we'd better get this done because it's nearly midnight and we're both tired kind of way. Too much sex is not my problem. My problem is a brain that I cannot switch off.
I left work at 3 yesterday and made a bee-line for the couch. Just before I went under, I checked my phone - 3:33. Since 33 is a significant number for me, I took it as a sign that this was the right time to shut the brain down. Stop planning, scheming, making, doing. I fell into a dreamless sleep and awoke at five, feeling - better.
Dreamless. Lately all of my dreams involve settings that look like obstacle courses. Steep, slippery mud covered inclines. Me - scaling, sliding, falling, reaching the top, strong and tan and muscular. A snow covered mountain side sliced by gaps and fissures caused by a spring melt. Me - jumping, clearing, landing - scrabbling my way to the top. Vast, truss supported mill buildings filled with doors and passageways and machines and strangers. Me - wandering the halls, wiggling locked doorknobs, making my way up long flights of stairs, moving equipment from one room to another. The crest of a huge mountaintop, overlooking roads lined with buses and trucks and the black soil of newly tilled fields. Me - lifting my arms and flying down the mountainside, gliding over the roads and fields, feeling the sun and wind on my face.
What the fuck. No wonder I'm exhausted. I plan and design all day then climb mountains and fly at night. Wait a minute! I climb mountains and fly! Ha! In not one of my dream do I fail. I always make it to the top. Always. According to the teachings of Abraham - dreams are a highly creative state. So while all of my dream themes involve struggle, I manage to find a way around, through, over. Which has always been the story of my life.