Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Underpants. Continued...

I found them. Plain underpants that cover my equipment but aren't big enough to carry groceries in. Fabric smooth enough to allow even the tightest fat jeans to glide over. Waist band elastic tight enough to hold them up but loose enough not to bulge my out handles.

That's me, on the right. Fricken fine. That's me on the right, hanging from the bathroom door frame. With the lights dimmed. Can I get away with nothing with you people?

Where did I find them, you ask? Wal-mart. Seriously. Wal-mart, purveyor of Chinese imports, enslaver of the helpless. $4 bucks a pair. Hanging on mini plastic hangers right between teenylacypinkthings and buttcrackflossythings. Just down the isle from omarthetentpants.

Cool. According to this tag, which includes a Spanish translation, my satisfaction with these underpants is guaranteed. If I am not completely satisfied, it states, I can return them for a refund or replacement. I am seriously saving this tag. The minute one iota of fabric from these pants even thinks of sneaking between my cheeks, they are going back. Apparently to Alabama.

Y'all come back now. You hear?

9 comments:

kwr221 said...

I'll have to :::gulp::: venture into Walmart to have a gander.

I'm usually a Target gal, but we'll see.

I (dare I say it) have found some great underwear at Lane Bryant. (shut UP, I don't but OMar the tent ones)

They're microfiber and come in bikini, high-cut and brief styles (things too if you're into that) and come in great colors.

PS - Lane Bryant starts at size 12, so SHUT UP I said)

Debbie said...

You are too good to us! I will need to check these bad girls out!

kwr221 said...

thOngs. dammit.

Not things.

geesh.

wv: bobeysin

I'm sure there's something there.

The Fabulous Sheree Burlington said...

I knew it was thOngs. Though thIngs would probably be more comfortable between the cheeks.

Bj in Dallas said...

Hey, there...gonna try these, whats four bucks on a quest to find good panties. I bought the Spanx thing to go under a dress for a wedding, HOWEVER, after drinking much wine and having to go to the bathroom more and more, I had to drag my friend with me so, after taking off my dress, she could help me hoist that thing back up my body. I'm just saying, the balance between beauty and convenience just wasn't in sync.

The Fabulous Sheree Burlington said...

You guys can count on me for both classy commentary and quality product reviews. I'm here for you.

sheila said...

lol, never a dull moment here! what a riot!

I love the bigger panties myself. I don't like anything riding up anywhere. nope. Give me the big ugly comfy panties any day. I don't know how people wear thongs. I would always be picking them out. lol

blairspage said...

Wal-Mart does have some hidden treasures! Love them!

Hugs - Tiff

Lorrie Veasey said...

WTF? You exit on an underwear post? Come back to your blog this minute, missy. I mean it.