Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I Made You A Beard


Facial hair. It's a sign of strength. Of masculinity. Testosterone. My second husband had all three, but the man could not grow a beard. Even his attempts at a mustache were at best, um, pubic - little wiry hairs twisting out in every direction. Not a good look.

His last effort was this past summer. I dropped my son off at his place for the weekend. He came out of the house sporting a sparse little caterpillar of a mustache. It looked like he'd applied it with tape. Neal laughed and pointed. "Look Ma! Dad's Hispanic!"

"Donde esta el bano?" I ask. It's the only thing I know how to say in Spanish other than some really disgusting references to oral sex. "Si," He responds. It's the only word he knows. He may look Hispanic, but he doesn't hablos either.

While neither of us are exchanging Christmas gifts any longer, it's really all I can do to keep myself from ordering him one of these. They come in a fabulous array of colors and textures - one for pretty much any occasion.

I Made You A Beard. This is the artist, Erin sporting her Lumberjack beard. If someone in your life is in need of a new look, you just may find it at her Etsy Shop.

Look for a complete interview with Erin on my new and yet to be released design blog "Wicked Good Eye," coming to the blogosphere soon. Because she likes you. And you like beards.

6 comments:

sheila said...

Ha!

Miss Thystle said...

at first I thought you were refering to a fake wife/husband for a homosexual person.

There's room in the gutter if you want to join my mind there.

Sheree said...

Thys, I'm like, 20+ years older than you, so I'm pretty sure I dug the gutter you hang out in. I'm still laughing at cum dumpster.

sheila said...

Oh, I left you an award at my place, if you are interested.

Generally I con't care much for the award thing, but this one was kinda cool.

Sheree said...

Award?! Whoo Hoo! The last time I received an award was...um...let's see...NEVER!

I am totally putting this at the top of my page. One cannot be too proud of their first award. Thank you Sheila!

Roth Wriscey said...

This would have been really funny to me until 3 months ago. Now it's funny, but it hurts. I have recently developed some skin disease and every day hair quits growing on more and more parts of my face. I miss having a beard. I think I might order one of these for Christmas. I have a fake-Mexican dad much like your ex-husband. In fact, most ethnic groups think my white dad is one of their own and they bash white people to him.