Sunday, October 26, 2008

Please Marry My Brother


This is my brother, Russell. He's 6' 4" and around 210 lbs. He turned 50 on August 13, which makes him a Leo - fire sign - strong willed, opinionated, bossy, charming. He's handsome, wicked funny, a gifted musician and chronically single. While there is nothing actually wrong with him, he does work weird hours & often has to travel to make a living. The last time I counted, he had something like four (five?) cars and seven motorcycles. This alone may explain why he has never married. Who wants to park a block away?

This is a man who can fix just about anything - ok, your car or motorcycle but maybe not your broken furniture. He will make you laugh every day. He might cook you hot dogs or spaghetti but you'll have get the dishes out of the sink first. You'll need to seriously clean his bathroom. He'll write you a song and sing it to you and it will be poetic and romantic. You won't want to mess with his garage. I call it Man Land. And even though he tortured me as a child and I hated his guts, I'm very fond of him now so you'll have to share him. Our family is crazy. You'll need to be, too.

5 comments:

Sheree Burlington said...

PS: It's now 6 May 2011. My brother is still single. Seriously, with the glut of single women out there, coupled with my marketing efforts, you'd think I'd have a sister-in-law by now.

Sincerely,
His older, smarter and more successful sister, Sheree

Anonymous said...

I'd have him on my shopping list as quick as you can say 'no refunds - don't bother keeping your receipt'. My birthday is the same, I can put up with bikes as long as I don't find the whole engine block in the kitchen sink and I doubt if he can top my wicked sense of fun. But unfortunately for him and for me, the best bet for nits like us is that we are best served with a sensible, grumpy and stodgy sidekick to stop us from flying out of orbit. I already have an anchor like that. He sits on the sofa and excercises his index finger by zapping from football matches to talk shows with mustachio'd men talking about football (that's soccer to you philistines). Best bet is to look for his soulmate in the most boring and predictable environment you can imagine. Like a Swedish old people's library or a Victorian tooth pick museum. Bring the two opposites together and hey presto - bliss ever after. Simple.

Good luck. Boo from Polyvore.

Estela said...

Hi Sheree!
I really enjoyed your presentation and profile, here and also on Polyvore. Not to mention your art, really fantastic!
Loving greetings from Brazil!
Estela Mehner

Jilbert said...

LOL!!!! You need to get together with Joyce (incogneato) ... she, too, has a brother she's been trying to marry off ... without luck.

sillylittlegirlthoughts said...

ALRIGHT ALREADY. I will marry you, Russell. You have to keep the beard year round, though. Dealbreaker. Sheree, I will be your sister-from-another-mister-in-law. You. Are. Welcome.
XO. ~N